When God stops whispering....

Anyone else have those moments?

I know it is preferred that I sit quietly enough to hear His whispers....but again, I'm a crazy human!  What does it even MEAN to sit quietly?  Who has time for that? I joke, I joke, but seriously....that's just where I am right now!

My "blogging adventure" should have started on Friday, September 27th.  Here's why:

On Thursday I had gone to bed, praying God would give me the strength and will power and possibly the DESIRE to better manage my home.  I have been feeling a little inadequate in this area for a while...like say the last, oh, I don't know......EVERY YEAR OF MY MARRIAGE! Whoops, was that out loud?  Yes, it's true-I was not given natural home-making skills or desires or drive, whatever you call it.  I don't have it.  I wasn't raised by "home-making" types of women, (I love you Mom and Grandma, buy you know where I'm coming from!), I suppose it doesn't come naturally to my family?  I walk over things that could simply be picked up.  I leave drawers and cupboards open and lights on.  I let laundry get all wrinkly in the dryer.  I let dishes pile up until I need to do them so I can make a meal or use the sink!

Regardless, I truly desire for my family to be able to come home and feel comfortable, safe, loved, warm and fuzzy, you know?  Which means, even if it seems inconvenient to me, I need to clean up, pick up, tidy up, shape up!!!  It seems to give me hives and small bouts of depression just to look around my home some times.  Joking on the hives.....

Thursday morning I had bible study and was asked to memorize Romans 12:1-2 this week.

Then Thursday night I pray before I go to sleep:

"Help me to just get out of bed before the kids!"

"Help me be ready to help them and be there for them before they go off to school."

"Help me WANT to".....and then I awoke Friday morning at 7 am.  

I decided to first flip my perpetual calendar over to September 27th and see what nugget God had given Elizabeth George (http://www.elizabethgeorge.com/) to give to me that morning. 

Would you BELIEVE this???

A Woman After God's Own Heart....yes, you want to read it;)

Well, of course you believe it.  God was not whispering.  This was a "shake you by the shoulders and yell" kind of moment we were having!  I do love that He loves me enough to speak up, though.  Elizabeth George is one of my very favorites, reason being, she isn't a sugar coated morsel of scripture.  She flat out says, God isn't asking us to feel like it!  He is simply calling us to DO IT!  I have been holding off on the book and study guide called Life Management for Busy Women (also Elizabeth) simply because I don't want to hear her tell me to wake up earlier in the morning....and I'm sure that'll be in there! What can I say?  I like my sleep....?

So how well did Friday morning go for us in the Fontana House?  Well....I wouldn't say we were at 100%. I still had guilt over the fact that right after bringing them to school, I would have to head to work, which meant I also needed to get ready for the day.  So while I showered and got myself presentable, they made themselves cereal (UGH), even made their own lunches.  I couldn't beat myself up too much, though, I was up and we were able to spend some time together before dropping them off at school.  We made sure all the proper notebooks and folders were ready to go. Maybe not a job WELL done, but it was a job done.

I'm sure if I were enlisting the girls to do more in the home, it wouldn't seem so overwhelming to me. However, I want to fully take on this responsibility of managing my home and making it a safe haven.  I want it to be the place they can dream about all day, "everything will be alright, as soon as I get home."  

A lot of that feeling is based on how I personally reflect Christ to them, too.  Plenty of tidy and sanitarily-kept homes lack a feeling of love and comfort.  At least I know one is more important than the other, I just want to be better at this role.  All my life I have wanted to have kids and a family.  Now I have that, and helping and picking up after them seems burdensome, how sad is that?  Get over yourself already, Victoria! Make this a place your children will want to be when they grow up and need a safe and comfortable moment of shelter from their great big world!

p.s. I'll let you know when I start getting up before the hubs or at least WITH him at 5 am....just don't hold your breath, please!  I will not be responsible for your lack of oxygen!