Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Bible Study With An 8 Year Old? Why Not?

So, life is hectic....
It's fall. School is in full swing and I still feel like its the first week! I feel like everyday I'm treading water, trying to keep up!
I'm working, I'm a troop leader, I'm a volleyball coach, im making coffee for bible study, I'm in bible study, I'm singing at bible study, I'm planning parties, I'm a mom, I'm a wife! And not in that order, but since that is the order they came out of my brain, I suppose that is the order they are currently ranking:( Frowny face.....

Monday mornings my girls have one hour late start for school which is so strange. School doesn't begin until 9:55 am, basically 10:00 am! I have, so far, felt like Monday mornings were a waste of time. We are up and ready and have nowhere to be! A thought came to my mind-Monday morning bible study with mommy! Wouldn't that be fun!? Not if you are my 11 year old introverted little princess! I got a big N.O. there! So, obviously, I ordered these awesome Mom and Me for Tea bible study books for her and I!

When the books arrived, they were met with anger:/ "I told you I didn't want to do a bible study with you!" Spouted the beautiful tween....que competitive, adorable little sister. "I'll do it with you, mom! Can I please do it?" Ugh! What's a mom to say? "No you cannot study the bible with me, just your sister can!"??? Of course not. I said "yes. Yes you can, we will start Monday morning!"

So Monday, in walks my youngest to get me out of bed (she is NEVER awake before me on a school day), "mom, where is our bible study book?" So we got up and ready and met at the kitchen table for our first time together. That kid is an amazing reader. Intonation, inflection, clarity, fluency, she has it all! She wanted to read first. And each paragraph we would take turns, reading about inner beauty and how it is most important to God. Every page flowed into the next, talking about how we could grow our inner beauty, what it looks like to have inner beauty, and many verses about our hearts and actions.

Enjoying a Vanilla Steamer made by mom:)

It was a truly blessed time. And maybe the BEST way to begin my busy week.  Hopefully big sissy will want to sit in or help out at least in the fun tea party and craft parts. For now, I think she and I will keep our mom daughter diary dialog going. I know they both need something private and special from me, I just wish I could get inside their little heads to know exactly what! 5th grade is weird, anyone? Guess we all went through that! And came out OK, so will my kids.....praying!

Love this picture, so much pink! So much innocence!
Thank you, Jesus, for sweet little girls:)


Tuesday, October 1, 2013

When God stops whispering....

Anyone else have those moments?

I know it is preferred that I sit quietly enough to hear His whispers....but again, I'm a crazy human!  What does it even MEAN to sit quietly?  Who has time for that? I joke, I joke, but seriously....that's just where I am right now!

My "blogging adventure" should have started on Friday, September 27th.  Here's why:

On Thursday I had gone to bed, praying God would give me the strength and will power and possibly the DESIRE to better manage my home.  I have been feeling a little inadequate in this area for a while...like say the last, oh, I don't know......EVERY YEAR OF MY MARRIAGE! Whoops, was that out loud?  Yes, it's true-I was not given natural home-making skills or desires or drive, whatever you call it.  I don't have it.  I wasn't raised by "home-making" types of women, (I love you Mom and Grandma, buy you know where I'm coming from!), I suppose it doesn't come naturally to my family?  I walk over things that could simply be picked up.  I leave drawers and cupboards open and lights on.  I let laundry get all wrinkly in the dryer.  I let dishes pile up until I need to do them so I can make a meal or use the sink!

Regardless, I truly desire for my family to be able to come home and feel comfortable, safe, loved, warm and fuzzy, you know?  Which means, even if it seems inconvenient to me, I need to clean up, pick up, tidy up, shape up!!!  It seems to give me hives and small bouts of depression just to look around my home some times.  Joking on the hives.....

Thursday morning I had bible study and was asked to memorize Romans 12:1-2 this week.
Then Thursday night I pray before I go to sleep:
"Help me to just get out of bed before the kids!"
"Help me be ready to help them and be there for them before they go off to school."
"Help me WANT to".....and then I awoke Friday morning at 7 am.  
I decided to first flip my perpetual calendar over to September 27th and see what nugget God had given Elizabeth George (http://www.elizabethgeorge.com/) to give to me that morning. 
Would you BELIEVE this???

A Woman After God's Own Heart....yes, you want to read it;)
Well, of course you believe it.  God was not whispering.  This was a "shake you by the shoulders and yell" kind of moment we were having!  I do love that He loves me enough to speak up, though.  Elizabeth George is one of my very favorites, reason being, she isn't a sugar coated morsel of scripture.  She flat out says, God isn't asking us to feel like it!  He is simply calling us to DO IT!  I have been holding off on the book and study guide called Life Management for Busy Women (also Elizabeth) simply because I don't want to hear her tell me to wake up earlier in the morning....and I'm sure that'll be in there! What can I say?  I like my sleep....?

So how well did Friday morning go for us in the Fontana House?  Well....I wouldn't say we were at 100%. I still had guilt over the fact that right after bringing them to school, I would have to head to work, which meant I also needed to get ready for the day.  So while I showered and got myself presentable, they made themselves cereal (UGH), even made their own lunches.  I couldn't beat myself up too much, though, I was up and we were able to spend some time together before dropping them off at school.  We made sure all the proper notebooks and folders were ready to go. Maybe not a job WELL done, but it was a job done.

I'm sure if I were enlisting the girls to do more in the home, it wouldn't seem so overwhelming to me. However, I want to fully take on this responsibility of managing my home and making it a safe haven.  I want it to be the place they can dream about all day, "everything will be alright, as soon as I get home."  

A lot of that feeling is based on how I personally reflect Christ to them, too.  Plenty of tidy and sanitarily-kept homes lack a feeling of love and comfort.  At least I know one is more important than the other, I just want to be better at this role.  All my life I have wanted to have kids and a family.  Now I have that, and helping and picking up after them seems burdensome, how sad is that?  Get over yourself already, Victoria! Make this a place your children will want to be when they grow up and need a safe and comfortable moment of shelter from their great big world!

p.s. I'll let you know when I start getting up before the hubs or at least WITH him at 5 am....just don't hold your breath, please!  I will not be responsible for your lack of oxygen!




And we're off......

I suppose I have been wanting to "blog" for years now.  I love to share my day to day about parenting and what life looks like in my little world.  Normally that is shared on face book, however, not every life moment SHOULD be shared on face book, right?

I'm hoping this will be a place I can share "the rest" with the people that are closest and actually care to know what's going on, not just a blind post to my 300ish "friends" within social networking.  This will be different, possibly deeper.  Actual fears and joys and accomplishments and failures.
My Treasures

God has given me two of His most precious gifts, I am responsible for their lives and their upbringing.  It is no small request He has made by placing them in my care.  After almost 11 years of parenthood (yes, #1 will soon be 11), I have learned one thing....I don't know anything!  HA, but not joking.  I couldn't possibly get through each day without my man.  At the end of everyday, Jeff makes me feel like I'm doing alright....   He swears I'm a good mom, and a super hot one, as well ;) Man, did God know I would need Jeff!

But it's new everyday, isn't it?  I find myself questioning everything I do and say, shouldn't I KNOW BY NOW?  Kids sure don't make it easy. And of course as parents we put a lot of undue pressure on ourselves. I worry that my kids don't like me....
I worry that my kids don't get the attention they need....
I worry that my kids aren't affectionate enough....
I worry that my kids don't love each other enough....
I worry that my kids don't put God first, and don't see me doing that as well....
I worry that my kids......
And it's all my fault, right?

I should know better, but we are just crazy humans with human nature flowing through us.  I know God's grace is sufficient for me, I know He is made perfect in my weakness.  I know that HE knows I can't do this alone!  He hasn't asked me to do anything alone.
Proverbs 22:6 says: 
"Train a child in the way he should go;
      when he is old, he will not turn away from it."
I can't wait to see this promise fulfilled, and I will continuously pray that I get to!

-Victoria