Redeemer

Grrr...
My crazy mouth says stupid things some days.  Today a friend was talking about having children....what do I say? "It's really hard!!!"  

Not that I was speaking untruthfully, but let's be honest, that's not the best way to advertise motherhood! Am I right?  Sure it is difficult some days, but they are so worth the struggle.  And when it is most difficult we learn so much!  Our best life lessons come through pain, and parenting can certainly bring that....pain, and love and growth and blessings beyond measure.

Recently we went through something very personal with one of our daughters.  It was by far thee hardest thing that I have ever had to "deal with" as a mother, thus far.  It HURT.  I was hurt for her, for us as her parents, for the world and culture we live in.  I literally felt broken.  I cried as hard as if I had actually lost a child, of course I can not compare this in reality, as I have never faced such a tragedy, but this is how my soul felt....like she had been lost.  And nothing I could do could repair this damage.  Parenting IS hard.  

But we do not parent alone....God has always been beside me.  He can redeem what has been broken or lost.  He makes all things new!  I cannot do these things, but I have the faith to trust that He will carry me during these darker times.  And my girls are witnessing God in these moments too.  Without any hard times, how would we truly recognize God at work?  I'm grateful for the "hard parenting days".  Much more grateful for the simple ones, where everyone is happy, and enjoys one another, sure.  But both bring blessing and great memories.  And in these days where innocence is fleeting, tweens years if you will....I am loving the opportunity that God is giving ME.  Opportunity to show grace, compassion, love, tenderness, and understanding to my daughters. To show Jesus. 

For one or two days, I struggled, cried, prayed.  Thought all was lost.  But my god is not the God of dead and lost things....He is the God of life and renewal!

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:22-23

Being a mom means sharing what I love to do with my girls!
My baby and I on our way to family yoga class!

Being a mom means embarassing your kids and developing a great sense of humor in them!  I love being a mom.....more than anything on the earth.

Being a mom means watching your baby become a woman right before your eyes.  There is nothing like it, God's gift of a lifelong friend in a tiny package that all too soon grows to be taller than you and share your shoes....

Yes. Having kids is hard work.  But there is no other work in the world that I would rather do. There is no other work in the world that has a greater reward.

  

Is She On a Diet?

Answer: No!

What I have been doing since September 2014 is not a diet.  This is my new lifestyle of nutritionally cleansing my body from toxins on a regular basis; since toxins seem to be coming at me on a regular basis!  The food I eat, the lotions and perfumes I use, the air I breathe, the fill in the blank.....let's face it, we live in a TOXIC world.  Don't act like you don't know!

I've learned a lot since I began back in September.  Fat hangs out to help me.  It protects vital organs from all the toxins inside my body.  No matter how much I do to just “lose weight”, the fat will just keep coming back to “help” me, if I do not get the toxins OUT and keep them OUT! 

I have tried (not very hard, or successfully) several different ways to lose weight, to feel better, to look better.  But to no avail! I have zumba'd, I have weight watchers'd, I have YMCA'd, I have personal trainer'd, I have weight loss challenged with friends and Facebook groups, I have 5k'd....last summer I even did the whole30.  That brought amazing and instant results!  I was convinced that was IT!  But whole30, takes WORK.  Lots of grocery trips costing lots of money, lots of cleaning and cutting and preparing and planning.  And DISHES, ha!!! Three meals a day, and if I forgot lunch?  Options are to eat fast food, or starve until dinner…..  Call me lazy, I am not offended.  I'm much like the rest of my fellow Americans in the fact that I am all for easy and convenient.

I must admit, I was skeptical to jump on the nutritional cleansing ship with my family members who had already begun their journey!  Everyone probably thinks all the same things about “products” etc…but man am I happy that I took that leap of faith and had my husband's support behind me! I have a family member that has released 60 pounds since the spring/summer and kept it off!  Another family member that has released about 60 pounds and is still steadily going strong.  So of course, I was intrigued!

My first 20 pounds came off without any exercise change to my life at all, in the first two months!  Then came HOT YOGA.  Now that I have been strengthening my body and building lean muscle, the pounds aren't coming off as fast, but I have still let another 15 pounds go and am about 43.5 inches smaller since beginning my journey (most of those inches in my tush, waist, and diaphragm).  I had to replace my XL running/fitness pants with some MEDIUMS after Christmas time, thankful I got gift cards for Christmas!!  Feels SO good!  Now even my MEDIUMS are loosey goosey, with every move and stretch I need to pull them back up.....could I really need a SMALL?  In PANTS?

I know that when I see myself in the mirror, I should know I am loved and accepted by God no matter how I physically LOOK.  And I do know this.  But I had gotten to a point where I just wasn't comfortable in my own skin.  I had heightened cholesterol, based on my weight alone.  I would become winded going up my own stairs each day. My guts hurt from having to lean over to tie my own shoes. I was sad, depressed maybe.  I wanted my body to make me feel full of life and energy, to make me feel beautiful and fit, to make me feel strong!  This is the body God has given me, and I only get one.  Instead my body made me feel sad, unhealthy, lazy, worthless, and just YUCKY.  I was at the point where I would do ANYTHING (any healthy thing) to finally feel better.  Maybe that is where lots of people have to get before they make the choice to DO SOMETHING about it.

Best news yet is my Dr. visit!  I was never so excited to have my blood drawn for testing, but guess what?  No more high cholesterol for this mamma!  My Dr. was so happy, he printed me up a copy of my lab results and said "you need to keep a copy of these because they ROCK!"  Then he shook my hand and told me "Great work!  Keep it up!"  I made him look over all my products, so he knew I was doing something GOOD and something SAFE, he found nothing to complain about and was intrigued by the idea of nutritional cleansing vs "weight loss products".  Because they are absolutely NOT weight loss products! It's my hope that many more doctors become aware of this program and begin to endorse it!  I know the affect that this program will bring to millions in their health and wellness...I'm a walking testimony!

I will absolutely continue this lifestyle.

It is the easiest thing I have EVER done to be healthy.  

EASIEST.  

THING.  

EVER.

It is so worth all that I have given up, to make it happen.

I do not need Starbucks, fast food, junk at the store, and we are saving that money! Money that I can put into HEALTH.  Into my own health, and hopefully into my family’s health in the future!

Left: One year ago, a proud parenting moment with my daughters....
but looking like this, feeling terrible about myself.
Right: Now, one year later, shopping in the juniors department!
I'm feeling confident, healthy and strong!

Yoga and THIS Christian Woman

I began attending hot yoga classes back in November.  I didn't know what to expect, could I handle it at all?  But what I REALLY didn't expect was having to stand up for it, and to defend it.  I guess I didn't know how strongly some people (of faith) feel against this "exercise"....
I feel truly blessed by this practice over the last few months, and have SEEN physical improvements and mental improvements in myself. 

The curve in the top of my spine is now completely straight! I just might be taller! (*UPDATE: I did grow (stretch) 1/4 inch taller!) I never have foot pain in the mornings (was DAILY) any longer, I really FEEL amazing!  But creating the TIME to be only by myself and meditating on whatever I choose has been such a gift. I am not a quiet spirited person, I rush and go and ask questions later, but these sessions allow me time to slow down, breathe deep and realize that there IS time. There are zero distractions. There is time for me to concentrate on God. There are no cell phones or children beckoning. There is time for me to pray. The outside world is quiet and I can focus. There is time for me to listen to His whispers. And the time is so worth it. I pay money for that time!
and.....I AM WORTH IT.

I have no doubt God comes with me, meets me wherever I am in the day. Never have I felt uncomfortable, never have I felt like I've stepped outside of His protection. If ANYTHING I feel as if He is pleased to meet with me there. Pleased that I've begun making our meetings a priority. Pleased that I'm honoring the temple He has created for me in such an intimate and detailed way.

The only instruction given to me during my practice is body movements/placement, never have I been asked to pray to any god or chant or worship anything. Hatha is what I love most, and this form of yoga is what I will continue to do, as the studio I belong to doesn't offer much beyond just the physical postures for health and exercise. 

Hinduism may involve yoga, but not all yoga is Hinduism. I am not Hindu, or Buddhist. I am the bride of Christ. I am a slave to God, thee only God, and creator of my whole world. 
And if I walk into a yoga studio and do NOT feel a burden from The Holy Spirit to high tail it out of there, and never feel convicted about choosing this form of exercise, I refuse to apologize for going. I refuse to be defensive or argumentative either, as this doesn't help anybody. But most importantly I resolve, from this moment on, to not concern myself with anyone else's opinion, besides my God.

"Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ."(Galatians 1:10 NIV)